found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
