Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
ttyl tear gas
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
