tell your sister to shave her snatch
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
