so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
