Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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