hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Holy sore nipples Batman
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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