going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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