I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
