Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
