I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
