Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
