My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
