I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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