She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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