im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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