My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
