my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
