you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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