Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
