Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize