I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
