He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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