doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
