the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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