dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
