Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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