"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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