im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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