ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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