We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
