its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my liver is dry heaving
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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