I'm really into asian looking animals
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
