Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
