i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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