time to smoke my breakfast
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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