She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
