How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
