In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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