I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
