I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize