I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
