They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
