Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
soo... how was my night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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