Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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