he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
