haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
