that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
