If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
