this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think my moral compass just broke
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