i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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