At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
