i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
