Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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