Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
