honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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