Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize