We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
