6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
