Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
