You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
