hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I deserve this hangover.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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