I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
