Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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