Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
