i would punch a child for taco bell
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
