Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
