I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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